When it's gone...It exists in your dreams(true love story)

Nothing seems to ever go right,
I try and try,
But somehow i never succeed,
And i don't know why.

I told him i loved him,
He acted like he didn't hear,
I made it so obvious,
It was so clear.

I shoved it in his face,
Me and him talked,
It was almost as if he knew,
He even gave me a kiss when we walked.

I got so many mixed signals,
One minute he didn't know,
The next he did,
But he had the attitude like "SSSOOO??"

But one night we talked for hours,
We each spilled our hearts out,
He told me EVERYTHING,
And even what he was thinking about.

At the end of the conversation,
He said "I love you",
I was shocked,
So i said "I love you too".

After that night i was so happy,
I felt so complete,
I felt like i no longer had to play the game of hate,
Because i thought it was beat.

So the next day i woke up,
So i watched a little t.v.,
I would never expect,
What i was about to see.

It was him,
The boy of my dreams,
Had drowned,
In his own remains.

He killed his self that night,
They found his body there,
I was in denial,
It was just last night he started to care.

I thought i was dreaming,
But then his mom called my house phone,
She said "Are you Xandra?"
In a very sad and confused tone.

I said "Yes mam."
She said that he wrote a note to me,
And it said that he always cared,
And said that he loves me and how much he regretted dissing me.

When i went to the funeral,
I put a black and a red rose on his grave,
To symbolize the pain and love i had for him,
To hear him say "i love you" is a memory i will forever save.

To this day,
I think i can see,
His gorgeous face,
But i know that it just cant be.

I will never trust love,
Because its always to good to be true,
But i still wanna say,
I will always love you.

This is why I'm single,
Just while I'm awake,
But when i dream,
Love is not fake.

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***In case you are wondering----i will carry on and every dream is well worth another day to walk the earth***