Me, myself

I'm searching for someone, who can love me for who I am
Not able to be pushed down by others anymore
Why am I here fighting this ongoing fight
What on earth am I still living for

I cannot find myself anymore, my smiles are locked away
On my way to my final destiny in life
Where I can truly become, who I long to be
A happy person, with no longing for my knife

Writing your name in my blood over and over
With my heart beating your name in my chest
Today as my bandage covered up my wounds
Wondering when finally I can be laid to rest

Covering my gash that was to deep this time
Is the whiteness, which is staining red
For I can feel myself giving in at last
Where I can escape my feelings, locked inside my head

Forever damned to a solitary tear of pain
Sliding down my cheek, killing me quietly in my dreams
You follow me, haunting my thoughts
Hating me enough to hurt me it seems

As I slice, the pain numbing on my arms, leaving marks
Blood seeping openly onto the floor around me
Which I mop desperately one arm in a sling
With this pain inside happiness to you I can never bring

Stuck in a rut, dragging me down are my chains
Guilt running through every artery and vein
Like an arrow finding its way to my broken heart
Drenched with love, hate, anger and pain