Tears begin to fill my face like a cup left under
a funning faucet well after the water has reached the rim.
my heart leaping to my throat,
getting cough,
squeezing,
twisting,
tearing,
my throat contracting around the emotions that threated
to leap up, and out of my lips,
my stomic
rumbling,
wrestling,
knotting
my hands quiver as i reach up to blot the teardrops,
leaving footprints down my cheeks.
the path that awaits me
suddenly seems like a pilgrimage,
one foot,
next foot,
step,
step,
i see you
(i see her)
you smile
i smile
(she leaves)
you ask how i am
(i lie)
i reply that I'm fine
(even though my heart has just crept up into my mouth and is jumping up and down on my tongue like an olympic diver waiting to hit the water.)
i want to say that i miss you,
let you know that every moment i'm awake i think of you.
i want you to know that i miss your arms,
your smile,
your lips,
i want you to know that
(I'm incomplete)
my body hurts,
my soul bleeds.
i ask how you are
(hoping against all hope you'll tell me what i want to hear)
you people
(your answer not including that you miss me, that you miss my arms, my lips, my touch)
my eyes attempt to strip you down to your soul
(searching for what i one knew so well)
they get lost
(but find their way back to reality when they gaze over at the [ever-fading] hickey just above the collar of the shirt she bough you)
my heart leaps off the end of my tongue,
wanted you to see the way you've hurt me
wanting you to hurt the same way.
it falls to the ground.
(she calls you)
you hastily say good-bye
(as you trot over to her)
stomping,
squishing,
mutilating
my vulnerable, fallen heart!!
(not even pausing long enough to scrape it of the bottom o your shoe, like a discarded piece of gum.)
she wraps her arms around your neck,
brings her lips to yours...
(your ears still turn red)
people pass, as if i don't even exist.
(i wanna cry, scream, shout)
i want someone to find my heart,
bring it back,
piece it together.
i turn away.
hoping that one day it won't hurt
(as much)
and hoping that i will be able to call you
and have you come over to me,
be able to buy you shirts that match your eyes.
(and leave the tell-tale hickey just above the collar)
and will still be able to make your ears turn red
from the fragrant of our lips.
i walk away,
knowing my heart will not follow!!
