Skeleton Song

Lovve the first two lines, don't knw why...

Some suggestions, finally something constructive for Aken Sol? O.o?

second stanza "It will be all be unleashed
All the horrors you thought were under wrap"
edited version "It will all be unleased
All the horrors under wrap"

The second all wasn't necc, and i shortesed the last line a bit.

Fifth stanza, second line, did you mean surrendering?

Overall, i think its a good poem, good job Lance.

Aken Sol

actually this wasnt a response to your poem, sorry =)

hmm, was that a response to my poem? The bit about climbing, and fighting... I almost see a connection, and I wonder if you did that intentionally. This poem stands alone with a good message and a good delivery, but connecting with a different poem is a pretty arduous task.