Kick me when I'm down

People, why do they do this?
why would they do this?
HOW could they do this?

I'm being teased everyday
and always laughed at
everytime I get whistled at
I know it's some one being sarcastic

too embarrassed to run
too embarrassed to walk
too embarrassed to look at myself
in the mirror when I wake-up

I'm embarrassed to be who I am
and every one knows that
so they tease me some more
like they want me to commit suicide

when I'm already down
I get pushed down some more
I get no sympathy from my friends
at school, at home, or at the strand
20 bucks says they laugh at me more

when some one screams out
*oi ya fat ugly dog do every one a favour babe, go get yourself a rope and chair and hang yourself, please!* every one knows they are talking to me
*Just ignore it Lucy, they're losers anyway*

I can't ignore what people say because if there wasn't a truth why would they say it?
I know I'm big and fat and ugly
but I'll deal with it myself

I don't need you people to tell me what I know
I might be really ugly
but who said I wasn't smart

maybe I will get that rope and that chair
and just hang, letting the cool air surround me

My razor blade just doesn't release the emotions like it once did
now I have too many depressing memories
that no matter how deep I make it cut
or How much I make myself bleed
now it's never enough!!!

when you look at me please look past the ugliness, and through the fat
find my mask and take it off
underneath it is just a lost girl
a lost girl waiting for some one to find her
find her and take her home

I'm just a normal girl you know
so what if i have scars up wrists
I'm not as twisted as you all think I am
I didn't do this to myself
before you blame my life on me,
take a look at yourself!!!

your the ones that called me fat
your the ones that called me ugly
your the ones that made me cry
every time i saw myself
mirrors are my enemy
I can't handle the depression of seeing myself anymore

that wasn't my fault
when once my self esteem flew high
now it's right down
some where underneath the ground

Way to kick me when I'm down!!!!

(C) Lucy Green

*when I said in it that you all made me feel like this...you don't just some people out there, randoms mostly, but I'm not blaming it on you!!!!!, please comment on my poem, i will comment on your poems too!!!*