SuICiDe nOtE

You didn't hear me crying
all through the night
i wanted you to see my tears
before i gave up my life

i wanted you to know my pain
as i watched myself grow
my secrets i kept my nightmares i had
how much i wanted you to know

you weren't bad parents
you were a great huge family
i loved you so much big bro
its just non of you could see

i hated school so much
4th to 8th grade
when we first moved here
the stupid decisions you made

i hated family reunions
no one ever got along
everyone always fought over something
in the end you were all wrong

you said you were trying to protect me
instead it scarred me and my life
i stopped believing you words
a long time ago with a knife

something big you didn't know
was that i had the word hate carved in my arm
i did that the day i realized
you weren't a real family so far

i apologize for my mistakes
what i did to tick you off
what made all of you so unhappy
and everything i forgot

this suicide note is for all of you
who always said i was better than that
because you have no idea how hard i tried
to get here now where I'm at

i loved before please never forget
everything you ever heard me say
because I'm now watching over all of you
to this very day

to my best friend please forgive me
for leaving you here alone
maybe someday we will meet again
and start a new home

yes i could have runaway
but they would have eventually
found me
for i had no where else to go
without the painful memory