Why my wife loves me

Why my wife loves me:

1) She LETS me sleep on the couch
because she read it's better for your back (always thinking of me...)

2)She makes sure to look as horrible as possible whenever she can to remind me how lucky I am to have a woman with a great personality

3)She eats all my chocolate and drinks all my beer so I don't gain too much weight (and then sends me to the store which is 6 blocks away if she needs gum...)

4)she yells at every women who looks my way because she knows I'm not into one-night-stands with beautiful women...(it makes me feel used)

5)Last but not least:
she fixes everything around the house that I can't because I'm good at nothing, and tells my friends, in detail about every time I mess up in bed because she knows I like when they can learn from my mistakes

I just love her so much, but I don't think things will work out. Shes deathly allergic to cats, and I accidentally bought 16 for her birthday...oops