Enter very soon

I open up my email box
This early Monday morn
And wonder which crap to open first
Honestly, I'm torn

My car insurance is too high
Though I don't own a car
I can sue my damn ex-wife
Or visit a rock-star

If I enter very soon
I'll be eligible for discounts
And possibly a chance to win
Annual amounts

Of what it is I'm still unsure
So I won't even try
Odds are agaisnt me
But I still don't know why

Why do i continue
Recieving this junk mail
When every time I join
Enter or solicit, I fail?

All I wanted to do today
Was get something from a bud
But every email in my inbox
Is a waste of time, a dud

So I will check my email
Each and every day
And enter every contest
And this is what I'll say

Thank you very much,
For the chance of a lifetime
But I will have to pass
If you send again you're mine

I'll give you a virus
And hack into your PC
Then I'll expose you to the feds
And force you to send money