This World

by Pianist   Mar 29, 2005


When will this world truly begin?
Surely it hasn't begun.
Torn, tattered, scarred with sin.
Where death can freely run.

Love is now what hate once was,
and hate has turned to blood.
Talents now, are greater flaws,
and washed clean in the mud.

Hope and faith have lost their way.
Men have stolen time.
Women turn to God and pray,
for mens' forgotten crime.

Virtue gone, and never found,
for what is really right?
To this illusion we are bound
no matter what we fight.

Sanity is left for those
who do not know their name.
Exceptance is as to oppose
and put good works to shame.

Truth has now become a lie,
and lies are how we learn.
For what is false we justify,
and fact we overturn.

Love comes from deep within,
but this, our world, has none.
When will this world at last begin,
or has it now begun?

Copyright © 2005 Nobody

-Too many of us wait our whole lives to start it. The world is what you make of it. Only you can change "This World" into what you wish it to be.

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Latest Comments

  • 19 years ago

    by Rachael

    I'm speechless....it's all so true, yet again. You definitely have a way with words...I'm really running out of things to say to you because my words do your works no justice...

  • 19 years ago

    by Kari Nichols

    That was awsome...

    Very well written... great form.

    5/5

  • 19 years ago

    by Sherry Lynn

    OOPS: How you feel not fell lol... sry

  • 19 years ago

    by Sherry Lynn

    Over all this piece was very well lalid out and easy for the reader to follow.

    The stanza of the whole concept is overwhelming and is served with a punch of reality.

    I agree with your views of what this world has subcummed to. I think you did a wonderful job in showing the reader not only how you fell, but why you feel the way you do.

    Keep up the good work.

    --Sher

  • 19 years ago

    by pinkalias

    I really liked this. I think we very much share the same views on society and what it has been driven to, and you displayed that all too well.

    ( you should have seen me when I saw the title, I have a piece called, "this world" as well and when I saw it i immediatly thought, "BIA" but yes when I read the first line i calmed down lol)

    ^sorry that was completly pointless.

    Anyway, I have one or two critisizms:
    "Were death can freely run."
    Just a minor spelling error, "were" should be "where"
    and
    "Right is gone, but never found,
    for what is really right?"
    I did generally like those lines and the meaning proved behind them, but i think you should use a different word for "right" because when it is repeated in two lines it defeats the purpose
    *just a suggestion*

    my praises:
    I loved the whole concept and message you were sending across. you provided the faults and crimes of our world today so well, and proved them with symbols and well written metaphors. a few lines I admired:

    "Hope and faith have lost their way.
    Men have stolen time.
    Women turn to God and pray,
    for mens' forgotten crime."
    (all too true)

    "Talents now, are greater flaws,"
    I love the contradicting lines you add

    "Sanity is left for those
    who do not know their name.
    Exceptance is as to oppose
    and put good works to shame."
    I love those lines.

    i also admired the technique you used in stating the same idea in the first and last stance.

    overall, well done.

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