Confused

I've heard many caring words,
I've seen many faces.
I've seen peace were I thought there was war,
But I would give it all up just to see you,
For the rest of my life.
I care about you deeply.
Deeper than the ocean.
When you left,
My heart went with you.
I'm slowly trying to mend the wound,
But I don't know where to start.
It's an unimaginable pain.
I would give anything for you to speak to me.
I miss you more than you know.
But then again...I dispise you for it,
You destroyed all my hopes and dreams,
Then I realized,
If you think you're too good for me,
I'd rather just be friends.
Don't hate me for being hurt,
Instead help me through it.
If you care about me at all.