Deep Pain

My heart is aching,
With all the pain
I hold inside.

I am shaking,
And I don’t
Know why.

I was just talking
About my PAST.
But now the tears
Are forming.
Why does this
Pain have to last?

I’m trying to stay
Strong for all of my friends.
This is so hard.
I wish I this pain would end.
I want to forget everything bad,
that has happened.

I remember the pain
I caused you.
The deep pain in me.
The guilt, and regret
That are still present today.

This pain is so deep inside.
There is nothing that
I can do to stop it.
When I get like this
The pain just seems like it
Is feeding off these bad
Thoughts and emotions.

Like before, this pain
And these moods are
Coming more frequently.

I don’t want to act like
I did at that time, but i
Feel as if I have no where
To turn anymore.

There are people I can
Talk to,
but it just seems worse.
I just want to forget
this horrible curse.

I could spill everything,
Tell those I’m close to.
But it won’t help.

I might cry,
And feel better
for the moment.
But when I am alone once again,
This pain will come back
Stronger than before.
Because I will feel guilty
For burdening you with
My problems, when you
have yours to deal with.

So I’m going to do the only
thing I can think of…so I will
have to get back to you so
I can complete this task…