Every night

Laughing smiling
Who’d of guessed
The world is like a shadow
Every night when you rest
You cry in your room
Alone in the dark
Wondering if you should eat
Then considering the idea to starve
You look at the time
Shit it’s three
You know you should sleep
What’s the point?
You will soon need to leave
You clench the blade
Duck tape on your arms
Hoping tonight
You can make it without more scars
You look to a candle
How easy it would be
You wouldn’t feel the pain
Just let the hurt run free
You want to let your arm burn
Release the day’s pain
Stare at a wall
Pictures all around
A picture of him
Yet for some reason you frown
You know that you love him
Is what your friends telling you true
Do they really believe?
He is manipulating you
You glance out the window
A ferret lays at rest
Tired and confused
They decide sleep is the best
So they sit on your lap
You let your guard down
Placing your hand peacefully
On the animals small brow
You stroke their head gently
Trying hard not to disturb their sleep
You decide its getting late
You sneak into your mother’s room
Only an hour of sleep
You know you’ll make it through
You take a pill
And quickly sneak off
Laying on the floor
You push the pill to the back of your throat
You will awake soon
And forget this night once more
But then you remember
As tears stream your face
You can break your promise
Change your lonely fate
Your blade is your friend
It will hold your hand till the end
You just need the release
That it is willing to give
You place it upon your skin
So gently at first
Then put a little more pressure
And kill your dreaded curse
The blood begins to run
Increasing in its speed
Rolling down your leg
Promising you relief
You begin to shake
The world seems to be spinning
All that you can think of
Is what caused this new beginning?
You watch the world twirl
You come to a small smile
Tears mix with your blood
You black out for a while.