Lift it up, lift me up

I look outside
from the window
where raindrops
are slowly dropping
i need to run
run far away where no one
can find me
or touch me
i need to be alone
to figure out this problem
with you and me
it's complicated
it makes my head whirl
i wrench open the door
and run
run into the night
my hair is plastered to my face
yet it feels so good
like everything is washing off
all the paint
the masks
the pain
it runs off of me
into the ground
down into the core of the earth
i twirl in the rain
feeling it run down my back
wetting me down
i sigh
in pleasure
my feet squelch in the mud
sucking them down
i will not let them take me
not let them take me under once again
it happens to much
wishing for things i couldn't touch
once i sat down
it would float closer
and I'd jump back up
ready for action
but the dream would fly higher into the dark sky
i still try
try ever harder
try to love myself
love you for who you are
and i do
i have for a long time
too bad you can't do the same
don't be afraid of me
I'm just... me
not everyone is perfect
the clouds are slowly parting
and the rain is stopping
i feel so warm
as the sun shines on my face
then i settle back the ground
and lie down
breathing deeply
waiting for the burdens to be lifted
my chest feels so heavy
but it's starting to feel lighter
i close my eyes
and vainly wait for the day
where i can be lifted
lifted into the open door of happiness