Thinking...

I find it easy to "spruce up" a poem that has a good base, such as this one, by taking out "filler words" like just or by making the focus of a poem more narrow. You can generally do that by changing informal, impersonal words like "the" to "my", etc.

I think that to improve this poem you need to add another line into the last section, it's another flow issue. The rest of the stanzas have four lines, and the last one doesn't sound right with just three. Hope this helps a bit. take care x x x

Thank you so much. I no the last verse sucked alot. because i had like 2 seconds to finish it i was gonna cum back to it but forgot thanks : ) i will change tht to ur suggestion if u don't mind :) thanks.
~@L€X~

Sometime I stand at the top of the stairs
and wonder would this finished me off
Would i die if I "Fell" down
Would I die if I jumped

I think this is the only line that threw it off alittle
umm.. you could say something like
At time I stand at the top of the stairs, wondering if it would finish me off, and if anyone would care?

Oh and instead of saying "I wanna" say "i want too" just because it flows better you know?

That's JUST an opinon.. If it helped or not I do no know lol
but i wanted to try at least
very nicely written though

That's the feeling I wake up with every morning and I'm sorry that you go through it too....I really loved this poem, I totally relate!! Hope that you are ok??? If you need to talk, then email me...