For Once In My Life

I losing all control
I can’t understand anything anymore
I try to put reason behind too much
And I’m losing touch of myself
Losing touch with my own life
I’m failing in my future as a person
Lost in something that isn’t real
And I look out for a hand to guide me
Through the thoughts of craziness plaguing me
But there is no one there to help me when I fall
I know I’ll be alone when I hit straight bottom
My parents will blame the things I love the most
And I will hate them for it
They will take it from me and I’ll lose the only thing I love
Lose the only one trying to save my from my darkened soul
I will cry out in pain when I fall
I’ll have to tell them everything about me explain why I am
The way I am
I will have to tell them I’m only happy there
I will have to tell them who I’m in love with
I will have to show them the scars on me
My self inflicted pain I danced with every night
My mosaic picture I paint every night
Show them that they don’t know their own daughter
Show them that I have always been in pain
Show them that I was never happy with who I am
Show them that the little girl they have known for so long
Never existed
I rather run away and start new
Get away from this place I call home
I was never happy here
It’s a prison for my lost soul
Bonded by four wall
A ceiling and a ground
The doors are open yet locked tight to me
And I’m lost in prison with myself
Crying out in pain to be free
Lost in my loneliness inside me
I just want to leave
And finally for once
Be free