The Condom

Ever since high school started,
everyone's losing their virginity.

At first it was exciting to say:
"Oh, I lost the big V!"

But that wasn't enough.
It's who it was with.

"I lost it with my neighbor's boyfriend!", or,
"I lost it with Mr. Anderson, the new PE coach!"

But now that's changed too,
it's where you lose that counts.

"I lost it in the school Library!", or,
"I lost it in a trash can at the park!"

Whom do I blame this on?
THE CONDOM!

He's being advertised everywhere,
and I see him all the time in the bathrooms.

He's everywhere, TV, on the beach, at camp!
I'm sick of him!

And if he won't stop,
then I'll do my worst!

I'll take him to congress in protest
that's he's causing me physiological distress!