A Poem to Mike Kline, A Very Old Friend of Mine

You just don’t understand
These feelings locked up in me.
The ones who dream of you,
How they wish that “we” could be.

I had you once upon a time,
But that was long ago.
I still never forgot
The way you let me go.

It hurt so bad,
It really wasn’t fair,
But you left me for another,
I still don’t think you even cared.

I longed to be free from the pain
You cast upon my heart.
After you broke up with me,
I wanted to use your face as the bulls eye for my dart.

I wanted to rip out your heart,
And throw it up against the wall,
‘Cuz you did that to me,
And it caused me to fall.

Although very wrong,
I wished you would die.
The pain locked inside
Was enough to make me cry.

I wanted this to stop,
I wanted my memories of you to leave.
I was finally through with you,
Or so I believed.

I then forgot you
And you forgot me.
I no longer needed you,
I was finally free.

That is at least ‘til now,
For I’ve fallen once again.
I saw you at my church last year,
And wondered how you’d been.

You had changed a lot in appearance,
Very much so for the better.
You were much taller
And totally way hotter.

I sat in a chair beside you,
Looking rather blum.
You asked what was wrong,
“Nothing, just bored,” I said feeling dumb.

On the inside I know
What was wrong all along.
I liked you again,
The feeling was strong.

Although it took awhile,
For me to finally see,
For when April came around,
I saw you and just couldn’t be me.

You were talking to your mom,
I was talking to my friend.
I saw you there and you looked too,
But wait, that isn’t the end.

During our concert,
On that very night,
My choir had to sing,
And I was on a mic.

The other members of my choir,
Had to hold American flags.
This fit the concert very well
‘Cause it was called “One Nation Under God.”

During the concert,
A flag was in your way,
Up, around and down,
Was where I saw your head sway.

Seeing you do this,
While being on a mic,
Made trying not to laugh,
A really big fight.

After the concert,
My friend pushed me forward.
I wanted to say hi,
But I was too big a coward.

I finally said hi,
But I felt really stupid.
I felt like my heart
Had been struck by an arrow from cupid.

So now it’s months later,
I haven’t seen you in a while,
But the memories of you
Always make me smile.

I still remembered your screen name
From when we went out.
So I decided to IM you,
Not knowing if it was even you or not.

I said one of my friends
Told my to put your screen name on my buddy list,
I said I wanted to know who you were,
At least your name first an last.

You told me who you were
And I started freaking out.
My heart was racing,
And I wanted to scream and shout!

I explained that I thought you were hott
And then I felt real’ stupid,
For you just replied “lol”
And now I want to kill cupid!

I sent you and email,
And asked you to reply.
I checked the status and it said you read it,
But you didn’t reply and I wanted to cry (oh, and of course die!)

A few days later,
When you where online, I sent you an IM and you said brb,
I still can’t believe I fell for that line.

I guess you checked your mail
And “accidentally” forgot I was there,
For you just signed off,
I then knew you didn’t care.

I realize you didn’t care,
And probably don’t still,
But I just wanted a friend,
Not a boyfriend (so take a chill pill!)

I only say that,
‘Cuz you probably thought,
That I wanted a boyfriend
But I don’t (even thought I’ve been single since March)

I thought I’d try some things
To get you to pay some attention to me.
Maybe a false boyfriend,
So jealous you might be.

I had it all planned out,
His name and all the details.
Then I realized it was stupid,
This plan would also fail.

Not only that,
But I wanted you for you.
Not because you were jealous,
For that loves seems too untrue.

I realized that I couldn’t win your heart,
Especially by playing silly games.
I’d have to wait my turn,
Even if it felt unfair and lame.

Although I wish
That you’d give friendship a try,
I’ll have to wait until I see you next or in high school,
And hopefully while waiting not die.

I have only,
But one thing left to say.
That is to me a friend you’ll always be,
And one day you’ll say the same to me I pray.

So for now I say good-bye,
To a very old friend.
I hope things between us,
Turn out better in the end.

I’ll always be here for you, no matter what happens.