Can you hear me scream?

I started pinching myself,
Just crying so much about you,
Was this really happening?
Had my worst nightmare come true?

I shoved my head into my pillow,
My body shaking with each breath,
I felt a sting in my mind,
All I really wanted was death.

My pillow soaked with water,
I fell so hard that it hurt,
I felt like my hope was ripped apart,
and my life pushed into the dirt.

I felt broken into tiny pieces,
I felt violated once again,
and I can’t even release it through harm,
I can’t handle another speck of pain.

My breathing got out of control
My head hurt, I could not talk,
I fell to the floor in distress,
I couldn’t stand, I could not walk.

I felt like my heart was torn,
and it was now bleeding away,
I felt like I was meaningless,
I couldn’t handle another day.

Never have I been so horribly torn,
By someone I greatly trust,
Never has my body felt like this,
I think it’s going to rust.

For you, I didn’t flirt,
I never looked, I never perved,
I didn’t touch, I only loved,
Is this what I deserved?

I’ve been treated like in a nightmare,
Instead of in a dream,
And I feel so cut apart,
Can you hear me scream?

2/4/05