My life

I'm going to write down everything
I don't really know why
I want to show myself the reasons that I push away
I can't help but need to die

My gran is so ill, and I am so scared
I try not to cry when I am with my friends
As I sit in the toilets slashing myself away
I sit in my darkness the pain never ends

My mum is ill too, But I try not to say anything
If she dies I'm going to die as well
As I write the words in my blood for them
As I live in my world this living hell

I get bullied every night and day
As my self confidence is pushed and battered
I hide away when people pass me by
On my bedroom floor my blood is spattered

He died recently but I wasn't allowed to cry
Because I do not have that right
As I look at my arms so red and inflamed
I want to rid myself of that terrible sight

I'm so in love with a person I know
But they still do not understand, they don't see
every part of my life but my pain is a lie
I never have the chance to be the real me

So I cut and I cut and I attempt suicide
This is the only life I know
As I slice away my life with that knife in my bag
Tears slide down my face and arms refusing to go