Defeated by my very soul!

Nothings ever right, or even ever wrong,
Everything’s a mess, not ever what it seems
Or even wot it should be
Everything’s a struggle, and maybe its just me
But I can tell u one thing
Its hell to be me
Its hell to be dead,
its hell to be here
Its hell to understand
What I’m thinking right now
And I’m thinking real hard
Was it ever worth it?
Did I struggle through all of this mess for nothing….
Absolutely nothing
That’s all I’m left with
That and the end of my world
As I am struggling to understand what I have done so wrong
I realise, it might not be the world
Maybe its just me
Would it matter much if maybe left
Left this world
Left my life
Of course not
I stand in a crowded room atop a stage
I scream and yell and try for attention
I wanna be noticed not invisible
Never thought this would be it
Slashing at my wrists
They are running a crimson red river
Eyes crying a crystal blue ocean
This world… it defeats me!

© Lucy Green