Why??? -i'm heartbroken-

Why am i so lonely?
why am i so cold?
why do i hold back all my feelings?
there has to be some reason why
why i sit there, hands in lap
eyes forward
lips closed
so afraid to make contact
with another human being
it's not like i don't want it
so why?
i want to be your's
to be there for you when your down
to be held in your arms
in a moonlit square
to feel love
as the sun is warm
to be your's
and your's only
i won't break it
i want to be put under a spell
why am i so fake?
why am i so different?
i change when I'm around you
on fire
can't talk
I'm burning up
listening to you talk
wanting you so bad
but trying to push you away
i want you in my life
yet i don't want you to stay
cuz you'll hurt me
you don't love me
and that hurts even more
than when i was clueless
and didn't know the real answer
i used to be so wishful
singing a song with the stars
of how my true love would find me
i thought it was you
but you've changed
i couldn't accept you for who you were then
i was stupid
thought i was so much better
i played so hard to get
and you moved on
then i realized
i had loved you all along
and you thought you couldn't break through
the wall i had created
you still tried
that was so long ago
now you've given up
just don't care I'm there
I'm just another faceless person
in the mob of ongoing people
why did it end up this way?
why couldn't we be?
why?