I will Perform My Suicide

The hurt and the pain
all over again
every night
need a release

something to help me
to make me feel better
get the pain from the inside
bring it to the outside

why don't i cut it out
like dr's perform surgery
i will perform suicide
ending my problems
with a nice clean cut

mum and dad
I'm sorry
for all this trouble I've made
never meant to be like this
but here and now i fade
you stand there and watch me
say you love me
so why don't you even know me?
if you new me mum and dad
you would know of all my fears
you would understand why my scars hurt so much
sorry mum and dad
but tonight is goodbye

and left i did
with arms of crimson
running an ocean of hate and despite
this ocean was inside of me!

(C) Lucy Green