Just on my mind

I am sorry if this is not a usual poem.
i am feeling very upset and am simply writing my emotions.
I am just letting my heart and fingers become one.

is there something in my head that is stopping me from realizing that i am in pain

or should i go on thinking that it is not there, do you understand me when i say this

i have fought for love, i have almost died for love, i will die for love. i will do anything i can to love

but there are too many problems in my way that i cannot avoid.

there has to be another way out. what way can help me deal with all of this misery

i have so many friends and i love so many people. so many people are so close to me

but i still wake up wondering how i will hurt, wondering why

why do i wake up, why do i have to put myself through all of this, i have to get myself out

i am tortured again and again, i always feel pain, but no i tell myself, no love will conquer it

how can that be when my heart is so alone. so many people are close to be but still i feel so alone

i think it is just me, i think i am honestly going insane, when will someone come up to me and just give me a hug

i just want to held in the arms of a person who loves me and be aware that they love me just as much as i love that person

no, instead i put my arms out for a hug, and my arms get slapped down with rejection, i open my heart and it gets spit on

should i continue on this journey of love, should i fight for it with all that i have

O GOD PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO

I'm not sure how much long i can take this anymore

*i am sorry it is so long*