hey, i think its going down the right path, fix up the last line, and if you add more maybe make the last line have some words in common with the beginings lines and name it a sentence from that or a word with alot ofmeaning or totally off the top of your head, like my inner fears I will no show...
or i dont know lol just trying to help sorry if that didnt help you..:(

No, I don't think it's finished yet....perhaps, the title "What I Said", "Concealing Truth", "Secrecy" hope that helped=) 4/5

Love
Heather

its really good!! too bad its not finshed ... by the way thanks for talking to me you seem realy awesome!! but great poem!! thanks for sharing!

Much better! =)

awesome 5/5 thanks for everything i aprectate it (or however yopu spell it ) and thanks for talkin!!! im glad

hello, fantastic poem, it was really gud, maybe if u add in a lil more rhyming, it also helps the flow. and make it go in a direction if u know what i mean. but it was really gud, it was good reading it =) gud luk with everything.
Tanz xox

wut the heck okay ur the confusing one not me so yah but u need to make more poems heh luv ya see u on friday