I liked that. It was unique and definitly must have taken some time writing. One suggestion though. The end seems maybe a bit hurried because i don't think the last line fits with what i think your trying to portray, so if you'd change that i think it would be better. But anyway, great poem, keep on writing.
Satuxxa

Heya, the last 2 lines, is what my nana always used to say!!! hayley xxx

hey sorry about your nan:( this was an awesome poem though check out my stuff please

hey, pretty good. You have talent. 5/5

~no more

You have a lot of talent! Flowed very well and was different but in a good way. Keep it up a 5/5 Take Care~! Brooke