Tormented because you never cared!

You were never there
never there when i needed you most
never there when i needed your help
and when you were there
you just didn't care

you see the scars upon my wrist
and than you go
tell every one else
that I'm just another suicidal freak!
and here i am,
standing, watching
as i hear you b itching
b itching about my pain
teasing me about
the horrid life i live

it's not my fault i can't handle this world
but please, tell me what would you do
after being named 'the ugly one'
after being the rejected queen
after losing your closest friend
nd after being r a p e d!!!

just a feeling deep inside of me
is saying that you as well
would react this very way
I'm not cutting my wrists just for the sake of it
i was focusing my pain
my life hasn't been easy
so please, I'm asking you, not to judge

i thought i could rely on you
aren't you supposed to be my friend?
well please, just leave me alone
just go away
no more excuses, NO don't bring them my way!!
I'm sick of this shit, always happening to me!

Leave me alone,
I'm not worthy for this cruel and crimson earth
i will push away my friends
that way when i leave
they won't care
so no one will get hurt
hurt by my misery
so get out of my life,
I'm serious
before i perform...my suicide!

(C) Lucy Green

*it's a harsh poem i know, but it tore me up inside when i heard people laughing at my life, so i wrote this poem, thank you for reading it!*