Locked in this Hell of time.
No end to pain and suff’ring.
No one to understand my pain,
My anguish in people’s midst.
What good can talking do for me
When no one else can hear my screams?
I cry to God for comfort;
Seek counsel from his Children.
Yet they are hypocrites!
They are foolhardy and do not appreciate what God has done!
God is there, I know.
Just out of my reach.
Can I stand on no one’s shoulders and reach his hand?
NO
For no one will put forth the effort
To stretch out their own hand and grasp my own.
So why should I stay here?
Here in this mirthless pit of lies.
I want to die.
Ah yesss. Death. That magical word of bliss.
Can such a blessing be bestowed on me?
Can I, in all my suffering,
Have the courage to end my life, here and now??
God knows I want to!!!
But there is one who I can trust.
One who, like me, has suffered.
One who has known hard times and endures the torments of this world.
I cannot reach him this night.
Our connection has been severed.
Yet tomorrow when the same old sun rises,
I shall see his face.
And the comfort in knowing this is what keeps me from crying.
This one thought that holds me from Death’s embrace.
What warmth and love that I hold dear
In this person whom I love.
The wish and longing to see his face and hear his voice enamors me
And I cannot think of death.
So to keep from death I will think of him.
And dream I will,
Though the dreams be dark and horrid.
But wait. Is this any different from reality?
It may actually be better than this,
For in my dreams, real people don’t hurt you.
It is not your dreams that stab you and make you bleed.
Yes, it will be better to dream,
Than to hold reality’s arm in marriage.
I will endure this night and wed my dreams.
For they are all the hope that’s left for me.
Yes, all the hope indeed.
