Weary but Hopeful

I've heard that the battles of life are won
By looking beyond clouds to the sun
Yet somehow I'm always caught in this haze
Searching and longing for happier days
Though right now I'm weary I'm searching for hope
That maybe one day I will learn to cope
I want to be free of these cuts on my wrist
And if I go I want to know I'll be missed
I want to smile and laugh and know that it's true
Without all the faking I want to make it through
I want to lead a better life so that everyone can see
I want to open up the door and throw away the key
Leave a legacy without all of the terrible lies
So that when you see my face you'll recognize
A radiant smile not plastered to my face
But a beautiful heart without a trace
Of all the angry things that I've said
Of all the times I've wished I were dead
I know I can't forget or ever change the past
And I know the awful memories will forever last
But I'm still young and I could be free
I could change the future it's up to me
Though these scars I made will always remain
I might see sunshine if I wait through the rain.