My Eulogy

I sat in my room,
Reading a book,
When I heard the yelling.
Constant arguing.

I tried to ignore it
But it didn’t stop.
So I went to see what the
Problem was.

They wanted to leave,
My two older brothers,
But my dad wouldn’t let them.

I told him to let them go,
He turned and yelled at me
To mind my own business.
So I backed off.

Lee opened the door,
And began to walk out
Managing to escape my dad’s reach.
Paul however,
Was stuck in his powerful grip,
Cursing and threatening.

Yelling at my father,
To let him go.
Doing what I could
To avoid any more arguing.
But he wouldn’t hear it
And sent my poor brother
Flying through the air.
Hitting the ground with
No more than a thud.

Screams ran through my throat
As ran for the phone.
Blurry eyes could not read the numbers.
Hesitating as the phone was ripped from my
Helpless hands.

I looked up to stare into my stepmother’s yelling face.
But my gaze was broken
When she pushed me into the couch
Telling me that I would not call the cops
On my own father.

Amid confusion and more screaming
We somehow managed to all end up in the
Living room again.

Half an hour later
After lecturing and my father telling us
We were failures that didn’t know anything,
Lee left the room
Running outside,
Seeking freedom.

I got up to go after him
To look after the brother who
Had always looked after me.
But being scolded,
I took my place again,
Seated on the floor.

After a minute or so of silence
Lee burst in through the door
Pale like the morning frost.
“Lynn?” he asked, helpless.
His forearm was soaked with blood
Spilling from his skin to the floor
As he walked in the room.
Eyes pleading for forgiveness and help
As panic stuck once again.

Among my father yelling,
Stepmother running for something to
Stop the bleeding
And sobs from Paul and I,
Lee managed to take a seat
Fumbling with a towel he grabbed
Wrapping it around his deep cut.

We settled, finally, waiting to hear what happened.
My father was the first to speak again,
Yelling for an explanation.
I yelled back at him asking him what
The hell he thought happened,
He had his own knife.
As I looked back towards my brother,
Sitting helpless at the table,
I could feel the tension rise.
“Is that what happened?
Did you use your knife?
Give me your knife, Lee
Give me your knife!”

And so went the night I was first
Introduced to the foul world of cutting.
The truth poured aplenty that night
About what my brothers did to hurt themselves
Late at night when no one was watching.
The unforgetfull night
When the blood spilled
From my brothers innocent veins.

*if you've gotten this far, you now know about one of the worst memories I have. This night shaped my past like you have no idea. It is part of who I am, and it is part of who I will become.*