My New Image

I am the essential wallflower
The one that's there but never talks
The one everyone spreads rumors about
The one everyone mocks

But deep down inside
I feel a fire burning
I can hear you talk about me
And with every comment I'm learning

I have to transform myself
To be the perfect image
I look at myself in the mirror
Where everything is painfully vivid

I diet and eat only the smallest things
I buy new different clothes
And from deep down inside me
The new girl finally rose

Now I was totally different
And totally OK
Now I don't have to be talked about
Every night and every day

I read new magazines
And I buy new jewelery
But nothing, just nothing
Helps me get rid of the old me

And still I hear people
Talk about me, day by day
But this time the comments aren't the same
They seem to think I'm not OK

I try to convince them
But at the same time, myself
"I'm OK, really!
Just don't worry yourselves!"

But as the days grow longer
I grow more weary
This new girl is tiring me out
I begin to feel dreary

But what could be wrong with me?
I'm the skinniest of them all!
I'm the prettiest too, right?
I've done all the boys who come to call!

I have the most expensive clothes!
I wear the best dye in my hair!
I only have the nicest shoes!
The finest jewelery I wear!

I convince myself
Day by day, year by year
I'm the best...I'm different now
There isn't anything to fear

"Yes...yes that's it...
I really am OK..."
I think this in my padded cell
Year by year, day by day

**there is a lesson to learn in this poem...**