More alone

I felt more alone then, more that I ever had
Why can’t you see that I’m more than just sad
I never wanted it to go this far, not ever
I know that I’m not brave, strong or clever
But I thought I was coping, in my own way
I woke up every morning, endured one more day
I truly don’t want to tell you how I am feeling
I don’t even care that my scars are not healing
I’ve given up, this time it is for real, believe me
I never meant for this, I didn’t want you to see
I’m sorry how I bring you down, pull you all in
I know I am never there, I dwell in hate and sin
Don’t bother to protect you, but I wish to be there
Forget about my feelings, just remember that I care
No thoughts ever cross my mind, I’m so very lost
Don’t think about the consequences, or the future cost
Just slice through my skin, always trying not to think
Into this dark misery I slowly begin to sink
Cry myself to sleep, hope that I will be safe in the dark
Hearing the dying calls of the last solitary lark
I don’t know how to end this, I need help from you
I say I am strong but please see it’s not true
I don’t want them there, they tear me to shreds
And so, all alone, each night I long to be dead
But I carry on, I have to reason to leave
The old me is dead, I just need time to grieve
Cut me into pieces, and leave me on the floor
If this goes on longer, I won’t be alive anymore