The truth hurts

I don't know why i do it
i keep telling you ill stop
and i have every time but once
this was the worst
i said i didn't mean to
but the more i think about it
the more happy i am i did it
if i could go back
i probable would do it again
but a lot worse
i don't know why i do it
i liked the pills the best
you could get so much rest
just lie down and prey you wouldn't awake
but i did every time
you say its selfish to commit suicide
but just go one day in my shoes
feel my emotions
the sadness, the depression
after over 9 months it gets to you
and you'd do anything to make it stop
but nothing works
no one understands why
they think you don't try
i give up
i make no one happy
cant i just be happy
for real, for once?

** I wrote this a few months ago, when i was so depressed and sad and angry. I realized that life is to short to throw away that easily. I'm telling you all if you feel like this, there are people out there that can help. Don't give up. It only gets better**