Losing It 4-5-05

My mind is spinning,
With every thought,
Nothing is working out,
Everything makes me distraught.

I cannot contain my urge inside,
The knife is calling my name,
I want to feel the slice and see the blood,
And feel the release of the pain.

My heart is beating way to fast,
My hands are cold with fear,
My body is tensing up,
And my eyes are filling with tears.

How can I fight my self,
And keep the urge away,
Just one more cut I can take it,
Please believe the words I say.

I’m so alone here,
I can’t handle this anymore,
The urge keeps coming back,
The knife it seems to lour.

Help me please you have to understand,
I need that blood I need it now,
But please help me fight it,
Please show me how.

I cannot save my self from me,
Scares remind me of past relief,
Will I ever get through this,
That’s hard to conquer with belief.

Don’t let me fall again to the knife,
Save me from my covered ears,
That hear the enemy trying to deceive,
And please help me dry my tears.

Pray over me let the Sprit flow
Please long for my every heart beat,
Because the temptation is coming,
That I would be better dead:the deceit.

Don’t leave me here please,
I feel so very alone,
For if you do,
More scares will be shown.

Stay here with me,
And hold me tight,
I just need someone,
To get me through tonight.

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