Daddy

Growing up was hard,
When you lived in a home like mine.
All the fighting has left me scarred,
I felt every whimper and whine.
My mother always crying,
My siblings always scared.
My father never trying,
Or acting like he cared.
I never understood why,
He yelled the way he did.
I remember wanting him to die,
As I sat in my closet and hid.
I remember all his cursing,
His outrageous outbursts and stunts.
All the while my life was worsening,
As he sat downstairs smoking blunts.
He made it difficult to love him,
Because he couldn't let things be.
He made it difficult to love him,
Because I thought he didn't love me.
Years later here I am,
Still unable to get to him.
I just wish he gave a damn,
And things were not so grim.
Now that my life's on a better track,
I see all the mistakes he made.
He'll never get those moments back,
But with his fatherhood he paid.
Despite all of the heartaches,
Despite everything you do.
No matter how much my heart breaks,
Daddy...I'll still love you.