Smiling every day

Smiling every day, my laugh rings through the air
Always looking happy, people think that I don’t care
That all that I once felt has left and set me free
But when they aren’t there it returns to haunt me

For one minute, maybe a day I thought that it was true
I couldn’t stop smiling, every time I thought of you
But now as I sit here alone, I can’t help myself but cry
Everyone thinks I’m happy, I really wonder why…

They never understood, and will never understand
How good it feels to hold my blade tight in my hand
Although I want to stop, to put and end to this game
Each night I sit and cut, each day it is always the same

And I don’t mean to do it, I honestly don’t think
Each time I feel that razor into my soft pale skin sink
In the morning I see a mark, a new blood red line
But everyday I laugh and smile, pretending I am fine