I'm trying, Mom!

My words flew out in disrespect
A spout, I wish I could control
As I sit here, alone and reflect
You have no idea the intentions of my soul
Someday I want for you to be proud
I wish I could be that perfect daughter you desire
But doing things isn't as easy as saying them aloud
But I'll do them and try to never tire
You wish our relationship could thrive
You want me to tell you how I feel
But you don't understand that SO DO I!
But Sometimes you make it so hard for me to reveal
I want to be able to talk
And know for sure that you won't judge
Sometimes you do have that tendency
But I admit I often need a little nudge
But still, sometimes I lay in bed at night
And pray and wish for just one day
That my heart could feel so free and light
That I don't have to muster up the perfect words to say
And on this day I can look at you and smile
And know what absolute happiness feels like
Even though I haven't felt that way in quite a while
I'll do what i have to, to change and make it right