I Tried To Tell You

I tried so many times before
to explain what has happened
who Ive become what Ive done
but Ive given up my strength has left and I'm lost

no longer thinking about my life
my thoughts have changed to death
to let the blade run free on my skin to hit the artery
like a virgin with her prince

i don't know what else to say
theres not much i really can
my life has lost its reason
or I'm facing the truth i had hidden

lined up one by one
soldiers ready for war
dressed in white they salute
they're now off to kill my cells

i suppose this is a goodbye
yet i don't think it was meant to be
I'm sorry i didn't mean to hurt you i only wanted to punish me

i push it deeper harder into my skin
releasing so much pain that had been
so much black now seeing light
the flow becomes heavier I'm drifting off

i lay sprawled on my bed for hours on end
replaying every memory Ive ever had every dream
tears stream down my face from my water logged eyes
my head can feel the pain now
that i so much despise

i try to pull myself up
but I'm weakened from all the blood Ive lost
i take my blade it is the only thing near me
i scratch the words i hate to breath
the last thing they shall see
they read them back again and again wondering why was it me
" GOODBYE I'M SORRY I HAD TO LEAVE "

© Copyright J.A.