Great poem...I liked the general idea. What some people don't seem to get is that a poem doesn't have to rhyme, but poetry is not exempt from proper grammar and spelling. Fix those and you'll have a near perfect poem. I just had to give you 4/5 on this one because grammar and spelling are two of my pet peeves...sorry. Constructive criticism is a good thing right? Feel free to check some of mine out too. Keep up the good work:-)

K thanks for the edvice