Revenge Of Her Brother

I love it!! I bet your brother would do it too!!

I enjoyed this one but you still have this thing of scratching th surface it good work but I guess it your youth that holds you back. in time you will see what I mean.Revenge is good you may think but looking at more as a whole you will see the boy's demise too. When your work is of better calibaur you will be able to tell me the whole story not just the boy vengence. There are consiquences to his actions too. I hope you understand what I am trying to say. This was good it carried its self well but if you dig deeper thats what will make the reader think, and you a greater writer...

excellent shud be under rape though
~Freak~

great poem 5/5

My honest opinion is that for your age you are a very talented writer! This is a great poems that truely tells a story that can really hit heart strings with readers, well written and good flow! The only thing you should edit on this one is the ending, like the others said. Ive found that the best pieces are ones that either go out with a and a little bit of shock or give the reader hope after a sad story...hope this helps!