i like it as is... simply it gets the point accross

It's good but not the best, I liked it up to the last two lines, I feel as if the ending was opening up more of that story rather then ending it....But i gave it a 4

i like this it makes alot of sense well done and keep it up xxx lilkit

This was alot better but the ending was just left out there was no closurte to it. Read Saying Ado and I think you will see what I mean ok.

Its over, it’s done
She’s torn they’ve won
They smirk, she cries
They snicker she dies
She bleeds, they run
This deed maybe over
But the wraths just begun

I love this verse, but some was a little odd for me! But still 5/5!

Very good....

My honest opinion is that for your age you are a very talented writer! This is a great poems that truely tells a story that can really hit heart strings with readers, well written and good flow! The only thing you should edit on this one is the ending, like the others said. Ive found that the best pieces are ones that either go out with a and a little bit of shock or give the reader hope after a sad story...hope this helps!

great poem 5/5

excellent shud be under rape though
~Freak~

I enjoyed this one but you still have this thing of scratching th surface it good work but I guess it your youth that holds you back. in time you will see what I mean.Revenge is good you may think but looking at more as a whole you will see the boy's demise too. When your work is of better calibaur you will be able to tell me the whole story not just the boy vengence. There are consiquences to his actions too. I hope you understand what I am trying to say. This was good it carried its self well but if you dig deeper thats what will make the reader think, and you a greater writer...

I love it!! I bet your brother would do it too!!