How Many Times

How many times
will my mother slap me across the face
after i told her the truth
and the cops tell me it's an open and shut case

how many times
will my mom say
"you want everyone to feel sorry for you"
instead of helping me in a different way

how many times
will she tell me i have problems
and i need serious therapy
"cause she can't solve them

how many times
will they talk smack
spread lies to hurt me
and then refuse to fight back

how many times
will they say i speak lies
unrealistic "tales" they won't believe
all because of my size

how many times
will my heart break
by another one like the last
that i thought was great

how many times
will i look into my own eyes
to see the pain i hold
and the silent cries

how many times
will i cut my skin
with hope that finally
I'll be relieved of the pain within

how many times
will i pop pills that aren't mine
in hopes to end this living hell
where everyone insists I'll be fine

how many times
will i hysterically cry
due to all the sh*t in my life
and wish tomorrow I'd die

how many times
will i try to leave my friends
to end my pain
and finally reach the end