Drunken Regret

I remember first setting eyes on her
With her fancy petticoat and gaudy jewelry
I remember the way she smiled at me
And I swear my heart stopped from her beauty

Sometime I wish I’d never met her
If only to save her from her fate
I wish her eyes were still alight with mischief
Instead of this fear I have come to hate

It’s me she fears, and rightly so
I’m not the nice man she once adored
I have become heartless and cruel
From all of the drinks that I have poured

It’s an unhealthy obsession I cannot do without
It brings up memories with which I usually don’t fret
Memories that will haunt me when I go to sleep
For crimes that I have committed; my drunken regret

I see their terrified faces loom before me
Their loud screams pierce the night
I hear children crying for their mother
As the water takes on a new height

I throw stones at their faces
And gag them so they can’t make a sound
I break their bones so they can’t stand
And crackle evilly as they drowned

And no remorse I feel in my sober state
No twinge at my conscience or tear in my eye
It’s not until I drink that I become human
And wish they didn’t die

Maybe I drink because sub-consciously
I feel the need to be punished for the way I live my life
For all the deaths I have caused
And the agony it has brought upon my wife

For no longer do her eyes sparkle when she looks at me
No longer does she laugh or smile
Her face is now pale and drawn
And her features show what can only be denial

I have forced her to live in a dream world
Where everything is perfect and nothing bad I can do
And when she becomes too engrossed in it
I bring her back to reality with a beating or two

And now, with a drink in my hand
And tears streaming from my eye
I whisper softly to the darkness
‘I’m sorry dear, please don’t cry’

But she does not hear my confession
She never has yet
I’m left to bear my soul alone
Alone with my drunken regret