Counting Tears

Counting every tear that
falls from my bathetic eyes,
searching in the darkness
for my personal sunrise.

One tear for the teasing
from the conscience-stricken souls
that tore down my goodness
and placed me in my burying shadows.

Two tears for the friends
who betrayed me in times of weakness,
the enemies in disguise
that utilized me but remained useless.

Three tears for the family
that never tried to see who I was
nor spent any waking hour trying
to give a reason for the implanted love.

Four tears for the father
who made statements of abomination
into the eyes of his first daughter
that ate through my solid creation.

Five tears for the mother
who used her fists for gratification
because "she had every right"
that led me into self mutilation.

Six tears for losing Jesus,
damning Him for my every loss,
sabotoging His name for comfort
in the world of my chaos.

Seven tears for the hatred
I smother myself in everyday
and fight for the rights of my heart
that just drifts away.

Infinite tears for the world
that I must watch descend
because I can change myself
but the Earth, I can never mend.

Heather M Craig