Tonight,
i finally bled.
i really bled.
more than a little
more than once.
to prove i could take the pain.
to prove that i could endure.
to prove that i am not weak.
to transfer the pain from the words of others
to my skin.
and as i gaze at them now
the eleven slashes
that cross my body
four for the letters of his name.
four for mine.
two for the x that crosses my ribs.
one for punishment.
i feel content.
in those eleven slashes
rests the pain of my heart.
but that pain is quickly draining.
through my eleven.
and now i have showed myself.
that i can take the pain.
i am strong.
i came through.
i endured.
and i don't need him.
