Another excellent piece - I almost felt like you had the gift if you know what i mean xx

This one gave me a head ack.. Honey You got a lot to fix. The poem was real good though

Another really awesome poem. You have such a way with words! ;-)

This poem was pretty good. But there are some spelling mistakes that you might want to fix up.

Tiff

Again another well written poem, just a few minor points.

The first line 'Sit back and your seat and stare into this box' should that be 'Sit back in your seat' ?

Also on the line which reads 'far past your, home and beyond the computer screen.' I feel the comma should be moved to after the word home, or removed completely.

This poem was full of desciption though, which is always a bonus in reading.

Keep Writing
Nici

your rhyming feels forced and feels like almost its a game that follows a certain code lacks emotion

I loved the way you wrote this poem.
you seem really talented Robert.
and the rhyming was excellent.
take care,
marjan

I was going to point out a few things, but Nici already did in an earlier comment...if you fix those up and the spelling errors, it'll flow much nicer...the beginning is mostly when I stumbled reading...overall good poem though, once you make a few adjustments it'll be great. It's detailed, and I really like all you have to say.

The rhyming was good but sometimes it felt a little forced and it could have flowed better

The wording was fabulous
it got to be a bit heavy for structure
but thats okay
the poem itself was really good
and thats all that matters

Wow.. this poem is truly spectacular.. written with wonderfuul wording.. the structure is much better in this poem and its very insightful and has a lot of depth to it.. great job :D