Mixed Emotions

I place your picture on my chest
Thoughts of you over come me
Like an ocean picking me up
And caring me in its current

I close my eyes
As I think of how I let you go
A can't survive with you
But i can't survive without you

I'm confused inside
Like a tornado whirling around and around
I don't know what to do
Except never let the tornado escape

A picture of you lips reaching for mine
Comes in view
I lean forward to catch them
But your gone

You put pressure on me
Not giving me a chance to be me
Not one chance
just simply forced love

I was never me
Around you
I always tried to be
what you wanted me to be

I force myself to erase you
It never does work
My soul is like a million door
And one will always belong to you

I do love you
I did love you
I'm very afraid
Of what's to come next

I've lied several lies
To make up for the confusion
Lying under the surface
Of my delicate body

The surface is slowly breaking
The tornado is going to ex cape
I won't make any sense
As i have a mental break down

We're Just friends now
I'm hoping you'll get to know ME
And i hope to get to know you
As a friend

I don't like the feeling i get
Around you
It feels wrong
Like we aren't suppose to be doing this

I want to slap you
Just to feel better
I want to hold your hand
Just to feel comforted

I want you to put your
Arm around me
Just to feel the love
We share or once shared

I want to start over again
With new choices
We both make
A chance just to be me

A chance for you to make up
For your mistakes
And a chance for me
To make up for my mistakes

We can just love each other
Going slowly at our own pace
We won't feel rushed
We won't be rushed

We won't care what other people say
The only thing that matters
is US
And only us

But for now your just a picture
i place on my chest
While the ocean picks me up
And carries me away in its current

4/22/05