And to think School was safe

We stood by the lockers,
laughing, talking, having fun,
we never knew what would happen,
we didn't know you'd be the one.
A gunshot we heard,
all shooed into a classroom.
Finally they came by,
and asked me to the hall.
I walked out of the room,
worried about what I'd hear,
they told me in a hushed whisper,
everything would be Kay.
"The gunshot from earlier,
it hit Chris,
I'm so sorry,"
was all you could say.
You hugged me,
told me he was in the hospital,
told me he'd be Kay,
but he wasn't.
A couple of weeks later,
he still laid in that bed,
I had cried every night over and over again,
I knew he wouldn't live.

At his funeral a month ago,
his mom asked me to speak,
told me to pick the song,
she knew that she was to weak.
I spoke while tears welled up,
"I'm sorry Chris,
I didn't know,
I wish you were alive,
and it was me who died."
I picked the song I will Remember You,
I knew it'd be perfect,
we all put flowers on his grave,
I didn't cry a tear.

My boyfriend was shot a month and a half ago,
it was in school that it happened,
his best friend was psycho,
he's the one who did it.
Christopher,
I miss you today,
I wish it was me, not you,
you didn't deserve to die.

I loved you too much,
and you loved me too,
we were always together,
now in spirit,
even though it hurts me.
I can't help but say,
your in a better place,
and no matter how much I cared,
nothing will change what happened.

~~~ This happened. I know, it's not a good poem, but I couldn't explain it in depth. It's been a month and a half to this day, and I can scarcely breathe, I miss him so. ~~~