Beside the lake

My imperfection
Is overwhelming
Always heading in the wrong direction
Will somebody help me?

My cry for help
Is muffled in your shirt
They cannot know
Because the truth hurts

I wish you could see
The way you act
When you are with me
You should see the impact

You say I'm emotional
Maybe it's true
But everything is worse
When I'm around you

Why is she so much
Better than me?
I try so hard
But you cannot see

I thought you were deaf
But now I know you are blind
You take her hand
And you leave me behind

Me and her, we are equal
Created the same
Her personality
My claim to fame

The only things
That stand in the way
Of me being perfect
For these I must pay

Why don't I understand?
What is wrong with me?
I am a child
I was your baby

I know that you say
That I am wrong
But I am hurt
And these feelings are strong

This is not a home for children
Not a child like me
Why am I here?
When will you see?

This is not my home
And I will not stay
I cannot let
You treat me this way

So goodbye, mom
Goodbye to the pain
I hope it hits you
You'll find the bloodstains

I wish I could see your face
Just to know that you cared
To see you be shocked
To see you be scared

Search for my body
Oh where have I gone?
You thought I was tough
You thought I was strong

I can't wait to see you
I know you love me
I know you know
Where I will be

Mommy is heaven
The way you described?
I think you wish
That I was alive

I don't ache, mommy
And I am not alone
I just thank god
I am out of your home

Please treat her nicely
But don't spoil her
She doesn't need diamonds
Or a coat made of fur

Don't make the mistakes
That you made with me
Down by the lake's
Where you'll find my body

I am sorry, mommy
I really love you
I do not think
There was anything else I could do

Pray for me mommy
Pray every day
Sorry for always
Getting in the way

Bye bye Mommy
You are my best friend
Best friends forever
Until the world ends