Feeling My Heart Bigger Than My Whole Body

Right now I’m starting to accept the idea that this pain I am feeling could possibly be more of my
undoing than yours.
You didn’t ask me to fall for you.
Only, my heart decided to betray me now, and with you, of all people.
I have never asked for love from
anyone in my life.
I have never taken any steps for anyone to love me.
It was always given freely and I never once thought someone would deny me that privilege, more so, that I would even care if it were. I guess I will never be
able to fathom completely what you have done to me.
I will never be able to readily understand how one slip
of a man can change what I have chosen NOT to believe in.

So here I am desperately wanting and yet determined to somehow fight an obviously losing battle.
I am trying not to take my situation against you.

I have no right to complain.
No right to get hurt and
no right to hope.
I have no right to ask anything
from you.

And God help me, I won’t.