I'm Sorry

I'm sorry....
I'm sorry you never held me in your arms. You tried and I know you did. I hate to think that were not meant for each other. I think about you constantly, I reach for you always. I long to feel your lips among my lips. I know we cant be together and i'm to blame, but i need you to understand I'm sorry. I wasted your time making you sit and wait patiently for my touch. You waited for my heart that I'm not sure I have. I screwed us up and i don't know why, But i do know how. I find myself lying awake at night wanting to feel your hands holding me. I succeeded in pushing you away and now I'm wanting to pull you back. My mind understands that we wont work, but my heart is so persistent that i find myself listening to my heart and not my mind. I close my eyes and I see you smiling at me I open them and your gone. I don't know why I push you away and why I'm so scared to have you love me, but i am. I'm sorry... How can i screw things up so badly with the only person I have ever loved?
Please, don't come back and forgive me because I don't think I have the strength to let you go even though I know you'll be disappointed .. again.